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When we are children and we are upset, often our reaction is to physically lash out. Manifesting our unhappiness, sadness, rage, anger- in a physical way. This is (hopefully) quickly conditioned out of us.
When we are older, we suppress this desire. We construct an intellectual social architecture whereby this behavior is shunned and internally processed as "Shameful". Frustration, anger, depression, inchoate rage- all are internalized and run though the meat grinder of the heuristic algorithm that makes up our behavioral paradigm. In short, we suck it up, talk it out or (write about it) and just generally process the negative stimulus in such a way that it doesn't result in things breaking.
I'm going to suggest an additional, post-enlightenment level of reason and human understanding.
Whereas:
We are biological organisms with a very specific stimulus / response mechanism hardwired in to our brainmeats
We are frequently plagued by outside forces which impinge upon our ability to live our lives in peaceful, harmonious balance with the universe
Some assholes just need a lead pipe to adjust their attitude...
It is posited:
Fully understanding the social ramifications and multitude of hardships and consequences that will ensue, when one has been irritated, hurt and upset enough by an outside factor- sometimes, sometimes- it is perfectly acceptable if not natural (and calming) to visit great vengeance and furious anger upon the noun / irritant in question.
Doing so immediately, with great vigor (and preferentially with a lever of some sort made of Lead or an available hardwood) will bring about an end to the stress created from the desire to strangle the living shit out of some asshole and the understanding that doing so goes against years of operant and social conditioning and as such is painfully socially unacceptable.
Visiting wrath upon the irritant in question will have the extra-added benefit of creating a high barrier to entry for those entities who desire to enter the "fucking with other people" market.
I see a future of professors, teachers, lawyers, judges, and all people walking around carrying "Go ahead, make my fucking day" sticks on their belts, ready to use to defend their sanity from those that seek to defile them.
Sometimes, Wayne Brady really just needs to choke a bitch |
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Nov. 7th, 2009 @ 12:53 pm
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 Current Music: Nasty Habits- Oingo Boingo |
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This is the third blog of Rizwan Kassim.
I had an incredibly well crafted message for here that was lost somewhere between my most recent drive, and getting Wordpress installed
The name for the blog – I’ve spent a lot of my life learning from the person I am and adjusting towards the person I’d like to be. Now, as I try to strip out the coping mechanisms and all the various things that we learn to do from childhood, I feel that I’m reaching the second order effects – the less than obvious consequences of various personal characteristics. So, it’s time to spend some effort on those.
I like noticing patterns and systems. I see a few data points and I want to make a rule to explain them. I’m happy to be wrong, but my mind naturally wants to see order. A lot of my writings are ideas or suppositions and a source of personal reflection, rather than serious, considered, complete works.
Other things likely to be included – random tech snippets, notes on creativity and personal goals, finances, code snippets, bits on my travel and photography, and pretty much anything else. I’ve got a personal blog (f-locked) for certain sorts of posts, and the rest are to be crossposted between the two.
Thanks to @colleenky for pointing me to On Doing Creative Work, by Merlin Mann, which reminded me that starting this blog was drastically more important that finding the exact right UI or skin for it.
Mirrored from The Second Order Effect.
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Remember me as I am now, before I put on 5 pounds this weekend...
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Attention Me:
It is now the start of my birthday weekend. This is the one weekend of the year where it really, truly, utterly is ALL about ME. Anyone that pisses me off this weekend gets the back of my hand or the brunt of my wit (such as it is).
This also signals my plethora of (now cowering) organ systems to prepare for an onslaught of junk food and sex and any other number of pollutants I may potentially steep them in.
This weekend I am indulging my inner hedonist.
And you thought my *outer* hedonist was bad.
I have preemptively called in dead for Monday.
37 was awesome. I won 37. |
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Some days, I really dislike people. I say "Some days" because really, almost all the time, I really do like people and persons.
Like I've always said, never get involved in a land war in Asia- I mean, the only people who can really hurt you are the people you really care about.
What's the phrase that Natara uses? Trauma Trance?
Yeah. Still sorting out how I feel right now. I think, first, I'm going to try to staunch the bleeding before I try to suss out "how I feel."
Better living through chemistry and exercise. Thankfully I have a stash of one and an appointment with the other at 5pm.Current Mood:  shocked |
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Hi all, just wanted to keep you posted on the silent auction which will be concluding tomorrow evening.
Check out the following NEW items! (More details can be found on the official auction page.)
HOT YOGA - one certificate for one month of unlimited hot (bikram) yoga at a wonderful studio in Valencia, and two certificates for 10-day passes.
STAFF AND HOOP CLASSES - Flow Temple has added donations of beginners' series of classes in staff and hoop.
Here are the current bids on items:
One-hour massage: $40
Magic Castle pass: $60
Catered dinner: $80
Flow Temple poi class: $40
Custom art by Jeff Z.: $40
2006 Gelfand Petite Cab: $15
2005 Silver Nectar & 2005 Shelby Grant Merlot: $15
2007 Chumeia Odyssean: $25
2006 Four Vines Anarchy: $35
Everything else has no bids yet! Get in on the ground floor! :)
Remember, online bidding concludes at 7pm tomorrow. The party begins at 8pm, fire-spinning performances will happen around 9pm, and auction winners will be announced at 10:30pm.
Payments can be made by cash or check. If you have any questions, please let me know and I will be happy to answer them!Current Mood:  impressed Current Music: over $300 raised already! |
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Nov. 4th, 2009 @ 06:11 pm
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Consumer announcement: Trojan ecstasy is nothing special aside from having ridges and being a bigger condom. So now you know :)
I haven't shared any camp stories yet, wtf.
So one of the drivers was pretty rad, and I was joking around about covering stuff in rhinestones and glitter...which evolved into me being able to cover his car in rhinestones & glitter (100% cool by him.) My favorite part was putting a little rhinestone dick shooting out glitter by his exhaust pipe. It's alright, 'cause none of the kids saw it ^_^
My numero uno camp buddy -R- was rad, and from day 1 we were bonding lots. We signed up to do a skit / song for every camp fire & skit / talent night...noteworthy appearances include singing Queen's Bohemian Rhapshody, and my acting out The Raven while R recalled the entire thing by heart.
I taught a girl how to braid, and she was very happy about this...she started braiding everything, and then braiding together the braids...it was pretty cool. She said her mom tried to teach her but she just never understood until I showed her...bawww :)
We had camp-wide LARP. Weapons & armor out of cardboard and decorated with all sorts of stuff...most of it was actually pretty badass. It was fairly epic.
I pranked one of the awesome staff after he took a different prank too seriously. I put horse shit around his bed, and thumbtacked a pair of his boxers in the second story of one of the lodges. I found this incrediably funny, and he didn't get all pissed off 'cause we are on cool terms.
One day a bunch of girls ran up to me asking if I would be their biffle. It was adorable. One of the girls 3rd session told me I was the older sister she always wished she had...and she was rad, so it totally melted my heart and all.
During my roadtrip I learned how to change tires, change brake lights, change oil, drive on a spare on the freeway, drive in the rain, and I got into a minor accident - a spin out really. But everything was fine so it's cool. Now I just need to borrow a car to take my test so I can finally get my fucking license...after driving for two thirds of the West coast, San Fransisco, and L.A., I feel very confident in passing my test. Yay. |
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Below is a complete list of items being auctioned off in support of my AIDS Marathon fundraising efforts. Please place bids online by commenting here (up until 7pm on Friday, 11/6) or in person at the Silent Auction Party on Friday 11/6; bidding will close and winners will be announced at the party at 10:30pm.
Remember, many of these items make great Christmas presents! Happy bidding. :)
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One-Hour Massage – Estimated Value $80
You are bidding on a full-body Swedish massage by talented student massage therapist Shelby Grant. The massage can be provided at his location near Beverly & Fairfax or he can bring his massage table to you. Weekends only. Also makes a great gift!
Current bid: $50
Admission to the Magic Castle – Estimated Value $100
You are bidding on a special invitation for four to the Magic Castle. This invitation includes admission and cover charge.
The exact text of the donated certificate reads as follows:
"This special invitation entitles up to four guests to enjoy the world famous Magic Castle.
The Academy of Magical Arts is pleased to make this certificate available to National AIDS Marathon Training Program.
The Magic Castle is a private club. You must be a member or have a guest card from a member to visit the Magic Castle. The sponsoring member for the evening is Scott Schweinfurth [his member number].
To acquire your official guest pass, contact Member Services at [phone number]. Once you receive your guest pass, you may make a dining reservation by calling [phone number]. Admission and cover charge will be included with this invitation.
This invitation does not include charges such as valet, alcohol and gratuity. No one under 21 is admitted to the Magic Castle except for Saturday and Sunday brunch. Our dress code and other rules will be listed on your guest pass. Special Event evenings may require additional charges. Details and additional information is also available at www.MagicCastle.com.
Expires December 30, 2009. May not be transferred or sold."
Current bid: $60
Made-to-Order Knit Socks – Estimated Value $150
You are bidding on a pair of custom, hand-knit socks in a color of your choice. These socks will be plain (no stitch pattern) with a short row heel (á la commercially made socks) and a 6" leg. The yarn will be at least 80% wool with 10-20% nylon for added durability.
If the winner is vegan or allergic to the stated materials, these socks can also be made in cotton. Socks will be shipped in 4-6 weeks.
Current bid: $30
Dinner Cooked to Order - Estimated Value $100
You are bidding on a dinner for up to four people, cooked by Gina Radogna. There’s nothing better than a home-cooked meal and Gina loves to cook! She’ll make you a meal that will be both delicious and – if you want – healthy, too! The specifics of the meal will be negotiated after the auction, please note that the upper limit of the meal will depend on the winning bid amount.
Current bid: $80
Flow Temple Lessons – Value $120
There are THREE separate auctions from Flow Temple, each with a value of $120.
Three different Flow Arts 6 week beginners. One in Staff, one in Poi, one in Hoop. Website has video of what each one looks like.
Each one includes 6 weeks of instruction and a graduation light-up-on-fire ceremony during which we'll make an awesome photo of you spinning fire!
The six-week semester begins November 9 for Staff, November 10 for Poi, November 11 for Staff.
Flow Arts is a hip, hot, fast growing fitness meditation practice that puts your body in balance and motion. It blends meditation, dance, exercise and play into a fun and healthful activity that moves the body and stills the mind. It's like yoga, tai chi and dance all rolled into Fun! Flow Arts improves self image, dexterity, focus, coordination, body awareness, self confidence, spatial skills and promotes brain plasticity. It is a grounding wellness practice that is also a sexy performance art.
Note: this does not include the physical set of poi or a staff, which cost approximately $20.
The classes being auctioned are public classes, as opposed to private lessons.
More information, photos and videos can be found at http://www.flowtemple.org
Current bid on poi class: $40
Custom Art by Jeff Zugale – Estimated Value $40
You are bidding on art created specifically for you by versatile and talented artist Jeff Zugale. This will be a 9"x12" marker and color caricature of up to two people.
Current bid: $40
AMC Theatres Gold Passes – Estimated Value $22
You are bidding on 2 AMC Gold Experience certificates. Each is good for one admission and is valid at any AMC Theatres, Loews Theatres, Cineplex Odeon Theatres, Magic Johnson Theatres, and Star Theatres seven days a week, even for special engagements.
Note: There are two lots in this auction. The top two bidders will each receive a pair of passes.
Current bid: $10
Handmade Cuddle Quilt – Estimated Value $50
A 6'x6' handmade reversible 4-square quilt made entirely of recycled or scavanged materials. The quilt tops are made from recycled shower curtain display samples and a retail display tablecloth in patterns including denim sporting decorative grommets and rivets, beige solid with a suede-like feel, and "masculine" colored stripes. The batting is a recycled mattress pad cut to size, and the whole thing is tied with scraps of yarn leftover from other projects. All materials are cotton so they're very "touchable". The quilt is perfectly sized for curling up on the couch to watch TV, and is machine wash and dryable to handle any spilled hot chocolate or accumulated pet fur.
Hot Yoga Classes
One Month of Unlimited Yoga - Value $150
This certificate entitles the bearer to unlimited sessions at Hot Yoga Health and Wellness Center in Valencia. Check out http://www.hotyogavalencia.com for more information!
Ten Calendar Days of Yoga - Value $25
This certificate allows the recipient to go to as many yoga classes as he or she cares to attend within a 10-consecutive-calendar-day period of their choice.
Note: There are two lots in the Ten Calendar Days of Yoga auction. The top two bidders will each receive a certificate.
WINE
2006 Gelfand Vineyards Petite Cab (50% Petite Syrah, 50% Cabernet Sauvignon) – MSRP $35
Winemaker’s Notes: The best of the best! The richness of our award winning Cab blended with our full bodied Petite. This wine has turned out to be one of our personal (and Wine Club) favorites. Only a limited amount is made each year, too small to submit for competition - otherwise, it would have a long list of Gold Medals!
Current bid: $15
2005 Chumeia Vineyards “Silver Nectar” & 2005 Shelby Grant Merlot – Combined MSRP $22
Silver Nectar Tasting Notes: truly aromatic wine, the Silver Nectar offers aromas of honey and apricots, followed by a soft hint of honeysuckle. On the palate, peaches, honey and lychee fruit dominate, balanced by a pleasant layer of acidity. This remarkably well balanced off-dry wine will complement a variety of cuisines from around the world and is also delightful to enjoy on its own. The moderate acidity and forward fruit flavors will complement spicy chicken satay, dim sum, Spanish Paella and beef or pork empanadas.
Shelby Grant Merlot Tasting Notes: a flavorful and hearty merlot from Shelby Grant Winery in Ohio.
Current bid: $15
2007 Chumeia Vineyards “The Odyssean” - MSRP $45
Winemaker's Notes:The Odyssean is always a blend of at least three different wine varietals. In years past, we have used varietals like Sangiovese, Barbera, Petite Sirah and Cabernet Sauvignon. For the 2005 Vintage of the Odyssean, we have selected three very distinct varietals that offer a stellar blend. In selecting the wines for the Odyssean, a base wine is chosen and then through barrel selection and long hours of tasting and re-tasting, the blend is crafted to reach a balance of fruit flavors, tannic structure and acids. While blending is viewed as magical, the time spent completing a blend is very lengthy. In most cases, a blend of this complexity can take several days to complete. Syrah 50% Zinfandel 35% Barbera 15%
Current bid: $25
2006 Four Vines “Anarchy” (32% Syrah, 32% Zinfandel, 36% Mourvedre) – MSRP $40
Winemaker’s Notes: I give you ANARCHY... I wanted to think outside the box and create an unconventional Rhone Blend. The blend is based on Syrah for that velvet mouthfeel and rich fruit, Old Vine Zin for spice and that brambly backbone, and Mourvedre provides some anise and makes the whole blend resonate. If you like the Rhone this wine will blow you away!
Current bid: $35 |
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I have a boyfriend, yay
I'm going to San Fransisco in a couple weeks, it'll be fun - yay
I lost enthusiasm for Halloween this year, but it was still enjoyable. Yay
I'm going to go see an amazing band that is totally in my top 10 in December...they are Danish and haven't toured the U.S. much. Yay
I'm semi-planning a big East coast / Canada trip for February...yay
My laptop is most likely fried 'cause I've had it for 3.5 years...I'm going to reseat the RAM & hard drive, and if that doesn't work then SOMEBODY is getting a new computer. (Advice? Suggestions? Fixing my current lappy, retrieving my files on it, to laptops worth the $$ - I'm open to all suggestions from those more technologically inclined than myself. This includes most of you <3) |
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Toronto Thumbs wrote up a lovely little story about the announcement of Zombonie, check it out!
http://www.torontothumbs.com/2009/11/03/zombie-game-apocalypse-introducing-zombonie/ |
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I have a long history of being disappointed in my costumes, and unfulfilled by events that I build up in my mind. I also have a pattern of looking back on these things and finding them to be completely awesome when wrapped up in retrospect. But this year was the first year ever, and I do mean ever, that I didn't even have a real Halloween costume. In the past it has been common for me to have two or even three. I'm still kind of aghast that this happened, and that ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) djtenebrae was in the same boat with me. We're supposed to be the best at this stuff.
I had all the materials for my Dr. Mrs. The Monarch costume, but not the time and means to assemble it. And oddly enough, the only appropriate time to wear that would have been to Rocky on friday, I think. And that didn't go so well as it was. I have two black eyes.
You see, during There's a Light, we run up on stage and give God the finger, and he smites us down with lighting. This happens twice. The second time, when we all fell down in a pile, the side of Tenebrae's head smashed into my face. I was so shocked by the pain of it that I actually cried, and that shocked me even more; I'll admit that I cry a lot, but almost never from physical pain. My nose bled for a while, I iced it, and hid under the veil of my drag-queen-in-mourning hat. We left around dinner scene. It remained a bit swollen and painful into the next day, but it wasn't until sunday that two black eyes appeared. They have since gotten worse, not better, and can be somewhat minimized but not at all hidden with makeup. The true tragedy of this is that on saturday night, we zombified ourselves (a reliable though generic costume when in a pinch, and works with club clothes) to go to Bar Sinister; part of this, of course, is essentially creating black eyes with makeup. If they'd appeared one night earlier, I actually could have used them to my advantage, but no; when I woke up on sunday, I thought I just hadn't gotten the makeup off all the way. Tomorrow I have an "annual" (it's been a couple years) physical appointment, so I'll find out if my face is, like, broken or whatever.
Yes, we went to Bar Sin on Halloween. It seemed odd to me to go to a club on Halloween, but we had a good time, looked fabulously undead, danced and drank. But it was really just like any other club night. Before that, we tried to go trick or treating; that failed, even though we followed our genius master plan. On friday before Rocky, we tried to go to a haunted house in Burbank; that failed too. There's been a lot of failure.
While Tenebrae has been insanely stressed, I have been massively sad. And it's all made worse, for me at least, by our truly amazing lack of communication. The other night, I wrote TALK BITCH in big black letters on my left hand so that it would be glaringly noticeable, so that I couldn't keep chickening out. When it occurred to me as a strategy, it struck me as something that one would read in a teen magazine or a self-help book, but it really did seem like an impressively good idea. But after deliberately hiding it all night (?!), he didn't notice or say anything, and when I finally pointed it out, it barely went anywhere. Even setting a trap for myself didn't work. It's still kind of visible. I have never felt more like a split personality as when dealing with communication and confrontation issues. Psychologically, it's rather fascinating, but in actuality, it's agonizing. The point of writing this here is actually to set yet another trap for myself. This is crazy.
I finally saw The Exorcist, though. Eleven year old me would be in awe.Current Mood:  Bruised Current Music: Television- Venus de Milo |
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I'm on Skype now, I had to set up an account because I'll be working with an employee in Vancouver. And I don't even have a webcam at home. So really I'll only be online while at work, and while at work I don't really have time to chat on a webcam. All these factors aside, my username is acbeckers.
And who knows maybe I'll get a cheap laptop/netbook around Xmastime and be able to chat that way.Current Mood: good Current Music: NIN - The Great Destroyer (Modwheelmood Mix) |
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Yeah, I'll see this. Disaster flicks amuse me. Anyways, this clip is particularly entertaining for me because the whole clip takes place in the part of LA that I live and work in. If I went frame-by-frame I could probably find my office, and the old Turbine office -- I mean if these guys really paid attention to detail that is.
Current Mood: entertained |
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Not too many epic updates on the state of the Jonathan as of late. Just felt like saying that things for me are going swimmingly. Work is fantastic. The social life is as booked as I want it to be.
I'm thinking of starting a dedicated photography web site and handing out business cards with photos and contact info on them. I really enjoy it and sending people to Flickr for portfolio purposes seems- pedestrian.
Any thoughts on this? Any good templates for this?
I'm also thinking up a good non-taken name for the entity known as Jonathan the Photographer.
-JR |
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I went to rocky, my costume failed and rather than feeling like shit at a crappy costume i sexified it with thigh highs and got really drunk. Consumed large amounts of Allison's garlic fries (thankie btw) and enjoyed most of the evening. Walked home and crashed to spent all of Saturday working on my paper. Got ready for my Saturday night party, and Riz took off without me to go to the other parties he had planned. I showed up an hour or so before him or any one else I knew for that matter. I watched some very attractive women chocolate wrestle and caught the eye of the dude behind me. We talked and walked for a bit and he kissed me. This got heavier and we ended up running off. Met up with Riz afterwords and hung out with Lyssa Adrian and Jonathan. Took boy home and crashed at 3ish am
Spend Sunday working on my paper, I still have to read most of the Aeneid and have a midterm this week.
I didn't get to do a ton, but I got to hang out and party which is all I can really do with how much work I have to get done.
It was nice to see all of you. |
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First story about my upcoming iPhone/iPod Touch game has hit the nets!
http://iphone.qj.net/Zombonie-coming-soon-to-iPhone-and-iPod-Touch/pg/49/aid/135605
Also, check this out if you want to advertise for cheap in the game!
WANT TO ADVERTISE IN ZOMBONIE?
Zombonie In Game Advertising Space Available Through Mid November
Zombonie is pleased to announce that we will feature in game advertising for almost anything you want to promote!
Have a movie, game, band, improv troupe, or just want to tell someone you love their brains? Your image and website info can be placed on many of the still standing billboards in our zombie infested cities. How many billboards and how many levels you want to be featured in is up to you.
You, your product, and website info will also be permanently featured on the "Friends of Zombonie" page of our official site with a link to your website.
Please contact us directly at zomboniegame@gmail.com for more info. We guarantee it's the cheapest billboard space you will ever buy!
You, or whatever you want to promote can be featured here!
Looks nice! Who wouldn't want to buy that? |
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I just discovered i can access the internet from my phone. Isnt that a nifty trick? I assumed my phone was too stupid to do such a thing. Maybe i should have looked through the instruction manuel. Live and learn. The annoying thing is, i am texting this entire entry. Wow, this is time consuming. How do i do paragraph breaks? I dont think i can. Oh well. I have one killer cold right now. I was dizzy most of yesterday. During rocky i developed a cough. Then i got a headache behind my eyes. After the show i started coughing so bad that i had to quickly swallow my own vomit. Hot, i know. Everyone on cast seemed to be coughing. Looks like we have a cast cold going around. Today i feel even worse. I have been in bed all day with flu like symptoms. Im sweaty. My entire body hurts. Coughing hurts my head. Walking outside to my car saps me of energy. I havent eaten since yesterday, but im not hungry. Im forcing myself to drink lots of water and chicken broth. Every time i drink water i get the chills. With the amount im drinking, im suprised i only urinated once today. Maybe im sweating it out instead. I havent been this sick since back when i was working graves. I normally dont go to the doctor but i think i might try to go tomorrow. Anyway, thats about it for now. It is taking forever to text this, and i really want to close my eyes. Oh, and to make matters worse i had to switch from the nuvaring to the pill due to medical complications with the ring. Im spotting so bad its like being on my period. This could be partially responsible for the crazy mood changes ive been experiencing this week. I want to be held. I could also go for a good cry. But i know that will further clog up my nose and i will feel even worse. Blah.Current Mood:  crappy |
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accomplished